I Miss You
by withlovej
Summary: "A warmth overwhelms my body, spreading through me like wildfire, but instead of trying to cool it down, I let it burn. I welcome it." AU/AH A oneshot about a young girl's heartbreak. Drama/Angst/Romance/Hurt/Comfort Rated M just as a precaution.
1. I Miss You

**A/N:** I know, I know. I've still got other stories that I need to work on getting updated, but I've got terrible writer's block, so as a way to burn my frustration, I wrote this. It's a O/S really. It's not even much of anything but a look into Bella's mind as she's left heartbroken years after a break-up with a certain someone. Please, let me know what your thoughts are on this. I just want some feedback while I'm stuck, so thank you. I hope you like this little drabble.

If you've got any questions, feel free to ask! I'm open to any criticism or any questions. I tell my husband this all the time: 'There are no such things as stupid questions, so ask away!'

Please, enjoy! Thank you, loves! You're wonderful!

* * *

**BPOV**

A drawn out moan leaves my lips as I stretch my limbs under the thin sheet of my bed. The silky texture brushing against my smooth skin, feeling like Heaven. Behind my eyelids, I see the red and orange colours of the rising sun. A warmth overwhelms my body, spreading through me like wildfire, but instead of trying to cool it down, I let it burn. I welcome it.

Last night… it was amazing. He was everything I wanted and more. He's just so gentle and he knows; he gets it, unlike all of the others. Never have I been with someone like the beautiful man that graced me with his presence last night. He was such a gentleman about everything, so charming and unabashedly sensitive.

He took me out for dinner at Daniel, an elegant restaurant here in New York. We enjoyed the Oven-baked Black Sea Bass with Syrah sauce and Trio of Milk Fed Veal with a White Cosmopolitan 21 each. Everything was delightful and the cosmos were very satisfying. Everything was spectacular, truly amazing. Even after all these years, we had a wonderful night.

It's been almost three years since we went our separate ways. The whole thing was one of the most heart-breaking experiences of my life, having to go through what we did together. No matter what we agreed and disagreed about, it still caused enough pain for a lifetime.

_I was sitting with him at my home down in Florida; I hadn't yet moved to New York. Maybe it was the timing or the place, but I wasn't ready. He and I were wrapped up in each other, gazing into one another's eyes, mine glistening with tears as we exchanged words of passion and heartbreak. Our voices were filled with love, but behind that love was this pain that wouldn't go away; an unbearable pain that wouldn't just fade away over time. Sitting along the beach on a quilt in the sand, his calloused hands moved up and down my arms, creating a calm effect over my body._

_"Bella, I love you so much. You know that, yeah?" he asked, pleading with his eyes. Those dark orbs continue to haunt me in my sleep to this day, but at that moment, all I could do was stare right back into them without a word. "I knew from the first day I met you that I only wanted you. I only saw you, no one else. I couldn't think without you invading my thoughts. All I could do was stare into your eyes, searching for that same feeling. That was all I could do."_

_"Yeah," I said, finally letting out a breath I'd been holding. "I love you, too. It's always been you. And it's killing me to do this. I can see it in you, too." My eyes looked over him, memorising every single outline of his hulking figure, his defined muscles. "We're doing this together, though. It's just like before. We do everything together, right?" Even to my ears, the laugh sounded forced as it passed my lips._

_"Sure, sure," he murmured, agreeing with me absentmindedly as his fingertips danced across my pale skin. "I'm going to miss you so much."_

_This time, the laugh came out naturally. "I think I'm going to miss you much more. You're my everything. You've always been everything to me."_

_For the first time, the silence between us was uncomfortable. My insides were on fire, the flames licking at my heart. More pain consumed me as I held onto him for dear life, clinging to his body as if he was going to be my last breath until I couldn't hold on anymore. My arms constricted around his neck, probably choking him, but it didn't matter to either of us. We just wanted to be able to share that last moment together._

_"I love you, Bells. I love you so much."_

_"I love you, too." The tears were inevitable at this point. I was blubbering like a baby, my head on his shoulder with my face buried in the crook of his neck. My back was pressed against his chest; the way he held his arms around me kept me there. "I miss you already."_

_He placed a chaste kiss to my temple. "I miss you, too."_

_"I don't mean to be cliché, but I'll always love you," I whispered into his ear._

_His body shook, the vibrations from his chest against my back as he chuckled lightly. "And I'll always love you. Now, we can be a cliché together."_

_"Yes. We can."_

We separated for a few reasons, the main being the major changes happening in our lives at that time. Not with our careers, no. They were still the same as the month before when we were irrevocably in love. No, his daughter required special care in late February. She was still having trouble breathing, which was taking a huge toll on her father. Of course, his main priority was his daughter, so he was doing everything to help her. As far as I know—this all from what he told me last night—his daughter, Nala, was a considerably healthy three-year-old. Back before we broke up, though, he couldn't handle the relationship, his career, his education and his little girl all at once. He had to let one of them go, and unfortunately for us, it was our relationship.

Of course, he isn't to blame for everything—or anything really. He and I had discussed the situation and the options we had as a couple. In the end, we realised that giving up our relationship was the only reasonable answer. We were only teens, and we had no idea how things would turn out to be later. Though, neither of us knew that our separation would hurt so much when we'd talked about it before and it was mutual.

Opening my eyes for the first time, I'm greeted by the glaring sun shining through the blinds of my bedroom in the three-bedroom flat I purchased two years ago. A contented sigh leaves my lips as I reach out beside me for my best friend. My skin yearns for his touch, so compassionate and careful.

But all I feel is air—an empty bed sheet, cool to the touch. I whisper his name as I continue to feel around the sheets. A dark feeling washes over me as I sit up and turn my head to see the place where the man I love laid not too long ago now empty. This time, I call his name instead of whispering it, hoping he's in the kitchen or the living room.

Only silence replies. My vision clouds and the hole in my heart rips open again, the repaired stitching useless now. Hot tears fall, trailing down my cheeks and onto the bed. My arms automatically wrap themselves around my torso as I lay back down, my head hitting the pillow.

How could he just leave like that? We'd shared so much last night. While at the restaurant, I watched as he spoke animately about a trip he'd recently taken to northeastern New South Wales.

_"Bella, I couldn't believe I won. It was awesome, yeah?" he had said while sipping from his glass. His eyes were lit up and he spoke with passion. "And Nani was there for me. She finally got to go to one of my races. She's never been to anything before, but this was the first thing she got to see and I was lucky to have won. You should've seen her face. Her smile was wide and she was clapping for me, shouting my name. It was unbelievable."_

_"I'm so happy for you. That's great," I replied, truly proud of him. "Did she enjoy the race?"_

_"Yeah. She was so excited when we arrived and after I won. I didn't think I was going to win because I was so nervous with her there. One of the best days of my life, yeah?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief.  
"I'm very proud of you. You're always so successful. I think having her there made it even better, though. You had even more of a reason to win. She helped push you even further, which is great. You're an outstanding father, too. I always knew you would be."_

_"Thanks. That means a lot," he blushed, averting his gaze. His cheeks were tinted red and his signature half-smile was splayed across his face. Lifting his eyes to meet mine, he cleared his throat and leaned his forearms on the edge of the table. "She talks about you."_

_Astonished by his confession, I straightened my spine and bit my lip. "Sorry, what?"_

_"Nani, she talks about you."_

_A nervous laugh bubbled up from me and I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, crossing my legs under the table. "I don't understand. She probably doesn't remember me. The last time she probably saw me was when I… when I dropped off a few of your things at your house in L.A. Even then, she was just a baby."_

_Smirking to himself, he swiped his finger under his bottom lip. The light in his eyes dimmed a bit, his face now wearing a somber expression. "Um, I have a few photos of you and I in a photo album. There's a framed photo by my bed, too. She, um, she likes to look at them."_

_"Oh."_

_"I, um, I hope you don't find that too bizarre. We were always best friends, even before our relationship, so I kept our photos. Nani's favourite is the one of all three of us together in Florida. We went to the Super Bowl. It's her favourite because… she says we're a family."_

_I closed my eyes, processing his words in my head. The thought of Nani saying something that meant so much to both of us while she didn't know the importance behind it was really overwhelming. "Wow, that's really something."_

_"My favourite photo is of us. I have it with me." He leaned back in his seat, reaching for his wallet. In his hand, he held a photo with our names written on the back and he gave it to me. "It's a reminder that you were always the first girl I've ever loved."_

_The photo was in my hand, my thumb playing with the corner. When I flipped it over, a gasp left my lips and I felt like someone had cut off the oxygen to my lungs. The photo was no more than three inches tall and barely two inches wide. It was a black and white photo of us, his long arms around my waist as his lips brushed against my forehead. I was smiling at the camera while he was gazing down at me._

_"Is this…"_

_"It's from when we went back Down Under two weeks before we separated," he confirmed._

Everything that happened last night made my heart swell with joy. Now ripped in two, I rest my hands over it and lay back down in the bed. A sob tears through me as I bring the pillow he slept on toward me, hugging it to me and breathing in the musky scent he left on it. For an unknown amount of time, I stay in the same curled up position while the tears continue to dampen my tainted pillow. Memories of us run through my mind as I continue to sob, broken whispers leaving me once in awhile.

"Jacob, I miss you."

* * *

**A/N: **Alright. That's it for now. I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, so maybe… please, you know… review? That would be oh so kind of you! Just a tad bit of your time is all it takes.

To answer anyone's question since I know it would be one if I was a reader: Jacob's daughter is Nala, but he gave her a nickname—Nani. He didn't like the sound of Nana (because that doesn't fly with me). I just like Nani better, but I still love Nala. So, if you notice that switch, Nani is just the nickname.


	2. I Miss You - JPOV

**A/N:** Finally! I've finished it! Sorry, but this took some major editing. I've been editing it for a week now. I'm trying to make sure it doesn't seemed rushed, but I also wanted to get this story updated. It's the only one with which I'm not currently having writer's block. I also love Daddy Jake. He and Army Jacob or any type of officer Jacob are my favourites. Enough with that…

I really hope this doesn't sound too rushed. I tried and tried. I also want to try giving Jacob a different mindset than mine or Bella's. I'm still working on that, so we'll see how that goes. As for the rush—if I failed, please do let me know. I'm still working on my other stories, but I hate what I write, so I delete it and start all over. So, you may actually want to consider the other stories as being on temporary leave or a hiatus. It doesn't matter what you call it, but I think this will be my primary for a little until I finally write something worth reading for the other stories.

Anyway, I want to let you know that I may need surgery soon. My life's been hectic lately and I'm currently in a bit of a spat with my husband and my family. How I wish that I could just disappear for awhile and come back when I felt like it… but sadly, I can't do that.

Now, on with the story. I hope you enjoy it and if you wish, you might review it. I love feedback (as long as it's not totally bashing and negative). So, let me know what you think! Mahalo! Thanks!

* * *

**JPOV**

A soft light hits the ceiling as I gaze up at it mindlessly. Hands locked together behind my head and underneath my pillow, my body is sprawled out over my bed—all six feet and seven inches of it. A sheen of sweat lingers on my skin from running. My balled-up T-shirt and sweatpants are carelessly thrown over the back of the chaise in the corner of the room.

The sound of cars flying by reaches my room, even with the windows closed. I turn my head to look out them, the sun's rays penetrating the thick glass and hitting my face. Even with the clear skies and sunshine, my day is clouded grey already. To my right, the light hits the empty spot next to me. My left hand automatically reaches across my body to feel the space. That's all it is anyway—space. Rolled onto my side now, I grasp at the sheets before throwing them over the bed and onto the floor.

Swiftly, I push myself out of the bed and make my way to the kitchen of the suite. Stainless steel appliances and white wooden cabinets catch the light from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows. I make my way down the four steps and into the room, moving slowly toward the island counter in the platformed kitchen. I help myself to an apple and sit hunched over by myself. The marble counter feels cool against my skin; it reminds me of how I felt and still feel.

Everything was perfect. She was perfect. Last night had been one of the best nights of my life. She had looked beautiful, stunning even, in her black cross back dress. The straps crisscrossed in the back and connected more at her waist, revealing enough skin to be considered very sexy, but not inappropriately so. Her hair fell just below her breasts, wavy and still the same mahogany brown as it always was. When she stared at me from across the table, innocent and shy, I found myself so lost in those dark chocolate pools.

Now, I'm just lost. Completely lost.

Things are different now. Nothing is the same with us. Nothing is like it used to be when we were little. She didn't look at me from under those long eyelashes, smiling while a deep blush crept under her skin. She didn't bite her lip after whispering a quiet, but meaningful 'I love you'.

_As we left the restaurant and went to find my car, paparazzi bombarded us with questions and flashed their cameras in our eyes. She hid her face behind her hand and I kept an arm around her, guiding her through the car park._

_"Jake, are you and Lauren Mallory going to the premiere together next week?"_

_"Miss, are you and Jacob dating?"_

_"Do you know anything about Jacob and Lauren?"_

_"Are you and Lauren still together, Jake?"_

_"Does Lauren know that you two are out tonight?"_

_"What I do isn't her concern, nor is it yours," I replied._

_"Are you two still together?"_

_"We were never together. She works with me and she's a friend."_

_"Miss, smile for the camera! Look over here! Don't hide your pretty face!"_

_"Are you and Jacob having an affair?"_

_As soon as the words left his mouth, I was moving forward and glaring at him. "Don't talk to her and leave her the fuck alone!"_

_"Jake, is she your new girlfriend for the week?"_

_"Step back!" security began to yell, pushing the paps back. "Get the fuck back!"_

_Quickly, I helped her into the car and closed her door before going around to the other side. I slammed my door once I got in and then started the engine of the black 2007 Honda CR-V. We buckled our seat belts and she let out a deep breath, her hands shaking in her lap. Her eyes glazed and empty as she stared at the analog clock on the built-in touchscreen navigation. She looked scared almost and I wasn't going to allow that. Whether she loved me or not, she shouldn't be so scared._

_"Hey," I said, nudging her with my hand. She didn't even look up, but I knew she was listening. "Are you okay?"_

_Her shoulders lifted up and fell down as she leaned against the car door. "Sure, sure." Her voice was so quiet that it's almost inaudible, but I heard._

_"Don't listen to them. They know nothing. I was never dating Lauren and I don't plan on it. She's just a friend. What people don't know is she already has a boyfriend." I rolled my eyes as the flashes from the cameras reflected in my rearview mirror. "In fact, she's pregnant with their first kid."_

_Looking up at me with wide eyes, my best friend—could I still call her that?—turns her head toward me in surprise._

_"Yeah, I know. I think she told me she's like two months. Nowhere near far along enough to show she's pregnant anyway." As I backed out of the parking space, I kept talking. "But really, we were never dating. She's my friend."_

_"It's okay, Jacob," she said. "I understand. Even if you didn't date Lauren, it's none of my business if you've dated or are dating anyone else."_

_"I—"_

_Turning away from the window, she shot me a look, silencing me. Her voice was hard as she spoke. "I honestly don't care, Jacob. So stop."_

Her words had effectively shut me up, so I had returned to driving us to her apartment after that. When we'd gotten there, she didn't do anything. She said nothing to me. I said nothing to her. We had just sat across from each other in her living room, staring into each other's eyes. It wasn't romantic, though. No, it was far from it.

It was more like a staring contest. It was to see who couldn't stand the silence anymore, who could no longer bear the tension between us. There were no winners, though. We had both lost. We had gone back to her room, never going through any of the other rooms. She just stood up after we had both looked away from each other, walking off toward some dark hallway.

Clueless, I had followed her. By the time I had gotten there, she was already wearing her flannel pyjama shorts and a T-shirt. She was already climbing into her bed when I entered her room. The walls were painted a light blue while black and white photographs adorned them. I had watched as she pulled back the white comforter on her bed, slipping under the sheets and facing the other direction.

Before I even knew what I was doing, I had climbed into bed with her. I kicked my shoes off and snuggled up behind her, pausing before wrapping one arm around her tiny waist. She didn't protest, but she didn't lay her hand over mine like before. It killed me, but I felt something inside my chest that I hadn't felt since the last time I held her like that.

Her body fitting with mine perfectly, molding to me—the feeling was incredible. Every breath that came from her lips soothed me. And her hair, it smelled like fresh strawberries and vanilla; every whiff was intoxicating. It felt nice to have her back in my arms, curled up at my side. Even if for a few seconds, I felt like I was home, like everything was perfect. Finally, things had gotten brighter.

Now, here I lay in my own bed. Last night was too overwhelming for me. Those few seconds couldn't be stretched out any longer. I felt as if I didn't belong anymore; I didn't feel like I was home. She didn't need me. She probably had had enough of my shit and is ready to move on with someone else.

I turn over on my side, glancing over at my bedside table. The dark wood frame holds a black and white photo. Both of us are smiling, completely wrapped up in each other's arms. Her brown orbs gaze into my eyes, a beautiful smile spread across her face. I'm sitting next to her, one arm thrown over her shoulders while the other is resting on my knee. My hand covers hers, contrasting well with her lighter skin, fingers perfectly intertwined with hers.

I reach over for the photo now, grasping the frame in my hands. Feeling emotional, I place it on the pillow next to me, letting it take up the empty space there. With it there, I feel as if a piece of me is back where it belongs, but not completely.

The beautiful angel in the photo grasps my hand tightly, afraid to let go. As she stares into my eyes, she tells me everything she's ever wanted to say. Three interchangeable words.

_I need you._

_I love you._

_I miss you._

Clutching the frame between my fingers and holding it to me, I let out a shaky breath and one lone tear escapes the corner of my eye. Countless thoughts run wild in my mind, every one revolved around her. I glance down at the photo in my hands and a broken smile splays across my lips.

"I miss you, too, Bella."

* * *

**A/N: **Now, I apologise here if there were any mistakes. Especially if I made a mistake with dates, times, places, names or etcetera. Let me know when and if I ever do that in the future. I can always go back and revise. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully, the next chapter will be ready soon!


End file.
